Just last week, the results of the Student Government Association fall election came in, and the winners were announced through email, a far cry from the way Wheaton showcased its class officers nearly 100 years ago.
Tag: wheaton
Wheaton Weekly
Here’s what’s happening on campus this week!
The 1960s and 70s were undeniably formative periods for women’s fashion. I figured, what better place to do a case study on fashion than a historically women’s liberal arts college? Enjoy this curation of scans from the Wheaton archives.
Every year, the Wheaton Wire goes away for a week. In its place, the untrustworthy but absolutely beloved Wheaton Liar takes its place to poke fun at anything and everything happening on campus. So, sit back and enjoy a selection of satirical wonderings and remember: NONE OF THIS IS REAL. Meet Wheaton’s newest club dedicated […]
On Tuesday, April 5, the Student Government Association (SGA) Senate met as usual—but the tenor of the meeting was anything but. This Senate meeting moreso a response to the ratcheting tensions between the voting members of SGA (the Senators) and the Sexuality, Gender, and Inclusion Board (SGIB) in light of the latter’s ‘Equitable Elections’ proposal […]
Human Trafficking at Wheaton? (Satire)
Lock your windows and doors. Someone is going to come in and snatch you in the middle of the night… or not. Who caused the hysteria that was the 2021 human trafficking incident at Wheaton, and why? These alleged predatory fliers speak to the hollow pockets of student debt. Including vague promises of $22 an […]
Are the Wheaton Students Potty Trained?
Many children are ready to be potty trained as early as 18 to 22 months. For some students of Wheaton, that statistic is 18 to 22 years. What is it about the prospect of college that makes the students forget proper toilet etiquette? I have seen it all: footprints on the toilet seat, an apple […]
A Deeper Dive into Curriculums
Author’s Note: After reading the article “An Examination of Curriculums” by Payce Shepard last week, I felt it was worthwhile to engage in a bit of a deeper dive on the topic. I’d also been researching the topic for another article I was planning on writing about that didn’t materialize, but there’s enough left over […]
The Clark Killer
Wheaton College- a heartwarming place where bright adolescents thrive, residing in Norton, Massachusetts, one of the safest towns in the country… or so we thought. A killer may lie within the ominous and alluring halls. Reports on November 3rd, 2021, of vandalism on one of the bulletin boards in the Clark Residence Hall reading, “We […]
Briefs by Ben Volume 1
After students and community members gave their feedback to restore cuts made to Chase Dining Hall hours, Dean Parker announced in an email Friday, Oct. 1 that Chase Dining Hall would remain open until 9 P.M. Monday – Friday. Previously this semester, Chase had been closing at 8:30 P.M. on Monday – Friday. The future […]