Many children are ready to be potty trained as early as 18 to 22 months. For some students of Wheaton, that statistic is 18 to 22 years. What is it about the […]
The Clark Killer
Wheaton College- a heartwarming place where bright adolescents thrive, residing in Norton, Massachusetts, one of the safest towns in the country… or so we thought. A killer may lie within the ominous […]
New Wheaton College President Announced! – The Series Continues
The Wire is pleased to share that the search for Wheaton’s ninth president has reached a finalized decision! Are you ready for the big reveal?
Top Ten Locker Combinations
Warning: This article is written for the LIAR issue, a satirical issue printed annually by the Wire. The best locker combinations ranked! A definitive analysis of what all of the best locker […]
Unveiling New Anti-Mosquito Technology (A Satire Article)
*Writers note: The following article is a work of satire, please do not take any of it as truth. Any specific people mentioned in any of my articles were made aware of […]
Wheaton Administration Begins “Week of Terror” on Campus
*Writer’s note: The following article is a work of satire, please do not take any of it as truthful. Any specific people mentioned in any of my articles were made aware of […]
New Theme House Opens its Doors (A satire article)
Writer’s note: The following article is a work of satire, please do not take any of it as truth. Any specific people mentioned in any of my articles were made aware of […]
A Guide to Wheaton’s Political Clubs (Satire Piece)
Clubs have begun to get started up at Wheaton College. Clubs remain an important part of life on campus, allowing students to become connected to people who have at least one similar […]