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Homepage Spotlight Satire

The Wheaton Liar: A Satire Special

Every year, the Wheaton Wire goes away for a week. In its place, the untrustworthy but absolutely beloved Wheaton Liar takes its place to poke fun at anything and everything happening on campus. So, sit back and enjoy a selection of satirical wonderings and remember: NONE OF THIS IS REAL. Meet Wheaton’s newest club dedicated […]

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Astrology

Count Your Lucky Stars (4/13)

I promise these will be nicer than last week’s. Aries   •  March 21 to April 19 Let out your frustration. But please, keep it about 50 decibels below the sound of a standard vacuum cleaner. Taurus   •  April 20 to May 20 Never underestimate the power of simply walking away. Gather your belongings, […]

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Homepage Spotlight News

Senate versus SGIB: Tensions spark largest Senate turnout

On Tuesday, April 5, the Student Government Association (SGA) Senate met as usual—but the tenor of the meeting was anything but. This Senate meeting moreso a response to the ratcheting tensions between the voting members of SGA (the Senators) and the Sexuality, Gender, and Inclusion Board (SGIB) in light of the latter’s ‘Equitable Elections’ proposal […]

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News

Primrose in Full Bloom at Basement Show

The energy of the first Primrose show post-mask mandate was electric. It was obvious that everyone in the crowd was starving for new Primrose content, and it was clear by the end of the show they got a feast. Wheaton students turned out in record numbers to the basement show, located in Cole Memorial Chapel. […]

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Sports

Road Back to Glory

It has been almost 14 years since the confetti of June 17, 2008, fell from the rafters of the TD Garden after the Celtics defeated the Lakers 131-92 to claim their 17th world championship. George W. Bush still roamed the halls of the White House, and Marvel was yet to launch its series of movies […]

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Arts and Culture Homepage Spotlight

Larisa Shepitko: Ukrainian anti-war filmmaker who dug deep into human psyche

As war rages on in Ukraine, the distinct cultural identity of the nation has come under increased interest. One of Ukraine’s major cultural impacts that is often overlooked is in the realm of cinema. From early pioneers like Alexander Dovzhenko, Dziga Vertov, and Maya Deren to more contemporary directors such as Kira Muratova, Ukraine has […]

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News

Wheaton Students Revamp Athletics Inclusivity Statement

Julianne Morse ‘24 and Nicole Janeiro ‘23 searched for the college’s athletic inclusivity statement to seemingly no avail. They ultimately found one plaque that served as what was up until now the closest thing the college had to a statement. The plaque, according to Morse, only mentioned not playing discriminatory music in the locker rooms. […]

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Arts and Culture

The Oscars are Coming Up—Does Anyone Care?

The 94th Academy Awards are March 27 – A ceremony that generates mixed emotions in film viewers.The 93rd Academy Awards had the lowest rating in the show’s history of 10.4 million viewers, a decrease of 58%. While this is partially attributed to the low theater attendance rates during the COVID-19 pandemic, the pre-COVID-era 92nd Academy […]

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Opinion

Why You Should Read Every Banned Book

Books have been banned throughout history. You might think in the 21st century we would recognize the ridiculousness of this censorship and stop banning books, however that is not the case here in America. As of recently there have been 150 bills introduced in 39 states restricting books and teachings, 2/3 of which target K-12 […]

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Features

Talking TikTok with Max Genther

You’re all on TikTok. It’s true, you’re scrolling TikTok between classes while sitting in Emerson or while sitting in bed procrastinating your work. But you’re on TikTok as a user. Max Genther, Class of 2025, is on TikTok as a creator, and you’ve probably seen his content. His fit checks and lifestyle videos are almost […]