The Wheaton Wire

The Bi-Weekly Wire of Wheaton College. Find the latest print issues in Balfour Hood, Chase, The Madeleine Clark Wallace Library, and more!



Issue #5 February 28th, 2024
Volume LVI

Human Trafficking at Wheaton? (Satire)

Human Trafficking at Wheaton? (Satire)

Lock your windows and doors. Someone is going to come in and snatch you in the middle of the night… or not. Who caused the hysteria that was the 2021 human trafficking incident at Wheaton,…

Live Action Stop Motion: How Wes Anderson Transcends Medium

Live Action Stop Motion: How Wes Anderson Transcends Medium

Stylistic directors have always been a staple of the film industry. The ability to tell a story in an accessible, yet thought provoking, way has been sought out by film studios and audiences all over the world. Some of the most…

A Brief Study on College Student Listening Habits 

A Brief Study on College Student Listening Habits 

This study focuses on the potential correlation between the amount of time college students spend listening to music and their chosen major. I was curious to see if there was any relationship between these two variables, as different majors can affect…

A Psychological Viewing of Sorry To Bother You

A Psychological Viewing of Sorry To Bother You

Sorry to Bother You is a film with familiar social commentary expressed in increasingly strange and unfamiliar ways. It has something to say about capitalism, conformity, personal desire, and self-perception, while using multiple principles of social psychology to ground its lofty…

Last Night In Soho: Edgar Wright’s “Golden Age Thinking”

Last Night In Soho: Edgar Wright’s “Golden Age Thinking”

Warning: Spoilers of the films Last Night in Soho (2021) and Midnight in Paris (2011) Have you ever felt nostalgia for a time you never lived through? In the 2011 Woody Allen film Midnight in Paris, Owen Wilson plays Gil Pender,…

American Brand Loneliness: The Namesake

Author’s Note: This article contains spoilers! You probably don’t remember how many people were present at your birth. Your parents likely consider such a detail trivial since they were there and, after all, that’s what matters, right? Wrong. Jhumpa Lahiri’s novel,…

Athlete Feature: Isabella Barrett

Athlete Feature: Isabella Barrett

Being the only diver on the Wheaton Dive team last year, Isabella “Bella” Barrett ‘24 worked tirelessly to perfect her craft in a season that only allowed her one meet. As the new dive season is underway, this year Barrett is…

Are the Wheaton Students Potty Trained? 

Are the Wheaton Students Potty Trained? 

Many children are ready to be potty trained as early as 18 to 22 months. For some students of Wheaton, that statistic is 18 to 22 years. What is it about the prospect of college that makes the students forget proper…

Defense Wins Trophies

Defense Wins Trophies

Over a quarter of the Premier League season in England has passed, and while there are a few surprises, like Brentford and Brighton, some things never change. Chelsea Football Club is in the top four and in fact, sits atop of…

Athlete Feature: Emma Lapreziosa

Athlete Feature: Emma Lapreziosa

As the goalkeeper for the Wheaton field hockey team, Emma Lapreziosa ‘24, is the last line of defense for the Lyons. This may seem daunting to some, but she makes it look effortless. Even with a pandemic-filled freshman season, Lapreziosa showed…