Categories
Satire

The Clark Killer

Wheaton College- a heartwarming place where bright adolescents thrive, residing in Norton, Massachusetts, one of the safest towns in the country… or so we thought. A killer may lie within the ominous and alluring halls.

Reports on November 3rd, 2021, of vandalism on one of the bulletin boards in the Clark Residence Hall reading, “We Must Sacrifice Someone” with a pentagram drawn beside it. Residents shook this off as a poorly executed joke and left it alone. By midnight on Thursday, November 4th, 2021, the perpetrator revisited their handiwork. Updating the bulletin board writing, “That Sacrifice is U” then named one of the residents residing in the hallway.

The seemingly harmless writing had now struck fear in the residents. Creating the question: who is the Clark Killer and when will they strike?

Residents rushed to contact Jane Doe, who wanted to spend her weekend at home, alerting her of the situation. Panic arose as some residents decided to take it upon themselves to investigate, noting telltale signs of the potential killer’s writing patterns. Describing the two-stroke writing of the letter “e”, and a significant style of the letter “s”, a few of many things found. Residents also report searching other floors for any other act of vandalism or threat. Asking questions like: Why chose Jane? Why this time, on this floor? Are they a resident? Did they come from somewhere else?

Nothing was reported to be found on any other floor bulletin board, but the savvy self-proclaimed resident investigators found a note in the kitchen. The note itself was of pure innocence, but it had also been defiled by the Clark Killer. Scribbles that depicted the same two-stroked “e”, with the same marker of the unmasked man. The note on the bulletin board in conjunction with the one in the kitchen led people to believe they resided in the building. Was the killer one of us? All residents in the hallway proclaimed innocence and no relation to the case. Conclusions were drawn and the residents did as much as they could, with no closure and a fear-ridden resident, the only option left was to report the act.

On November 5th, 2021, before a report had been submitted, the Clark Killer was found. A note was left under the door of Jane Doe confessing to the crime.

“I can’t forgive myself for my actions.”

The Clark Killer was no killer at all, but one among us.

The conclusion of the twisted tale became tied into a perfect bow. The first writing had been just a light-hearted joke. The same night, the person had heard Jane Doe expressing fear, and thought she would catch onto the joke if her name was put. Unfortunately, the case turned into a Clark scandal blowing up way beyond intention.

Currently, there are no updates on the situation, as it is being dealt with in private matters. Jane Doe has forgiven the act and it is all seen as a learning experience: don’t write distasteful jokes on the bulletin board.

Although the name of the Clark Killer may never be unveiled, the residents of Clark can rest easy knowing the hoax has been put to bed.