First weeks are gone, autumn is here with falling leaves, pumpkin spice and 80 degree weather. The one thing you can depend on for stability? Your horoscope.
Scorpio | Oct. 23 to Nov. 21
Sneaky aren’t you… you might have thought no one noticed you doing that… but I did.
Sagittarius | Nov. 22 to Dec. 21
You’re charming and always seem to get where you want to go eventually. Well, good for you. Really, I’m happy for you! It’s fine. I’m fine.
Capricorn | Dec. 22 to Jan. 19
Ugh… I mean why do I even try. You never listen do you, sweetie?
Aquarius | Jan 20 to Feb. 18
Hey! Sharing is caring, give your friend a chance and let them borrow that thing… You know the one.
Pisces | Feb. 19 to March 20
It’s a good week for love and relationships. Speak your mind and don’t let courtesy outweigh what you want.
Sidenote: You’ve got some chives in your teeth.
Aries | March 21 to April 19
You like driving a lot, but this is not the week for it. Parking space is sparse and you deserve to keep your spot!
Taurus | April 20 to May 20
…what? Oh sorry, um, the moon made you crazy or something.
Gemini | May 21 to June 20
Seek out some fun opportunities before you go full Shining. Don’t overthink it.
Cancer | June 21 to July 22
You’ve been going a bit overboard with the DIY. Chill.
Leo | July 23 to Aug. 22
Chocolate and roses feed the soul.
Virgo | Aug. 23 to Sept. 22
The Sun and Mars are still in your sign. You have tons of energy and it’s exhausting to look at.
Libra | Sept. 23 to Oct. 22 Look, just have a good week. Make good choices, and for the love of everything don’t wait until the last second on that assignment.