SGA Roast invites rare moment for public mockery

On Friday, March 30th, Wheaton’s Student Government Association (SGA) gathered together in the Loft for the annual SGA Roast.

On Friday, March 30th, Wheaton’s Student Government Association (SGA) gathered together in the Loft for the annual SGA Roast. The hard working members of the SGA, after a long year of meetings, budget cuts and campaigns, sat down, ate some food and got insulted by their friends and compatriots.

In classic roast fashion, a multitude of “comedians” got on stage and tore into the listening crowd of SGA representatives and executive board members. Prior to the start of the event, students mingled while a slide show of photos with SGA members’ faces jokingly super-imposed on the bodies of people like Justin Bieber flitted across the Loft’s big screen.

SGA secretary and event host Claudia D’Adamo ’13 started the event off with a short blooper reel of some of the SGA announcement videos that are occasionally posted on Facebook or sent via email.  As the video came to an end, the first roaster took the stage. SGA presidential hopeful Lindsey Powell ’13 confused the roast to be a literal roast, much to the chagrin of the audience. Powell dashed off a few punny animal jokes, such as: “Which side of a chicken has the most feathers? The out-side.”

The night continued with Anthony Castellani ’13, a supposed last-minute addition to the ensemble of roasters, who initiated the actual roasting portion of the evening with his mildly awkward slew of corny jokes that attacked the disorganization of the SGA to the unmistakably dominant presence of vice-president Zachary Agush ’12.

Adin Lenchner ’12 followed up, with humorous peek into the amount of free time he had obtained since being ousted from the SGA after his unsuccessful vice-presidential bid against Agush. He joked that he now divvies up his time between teaching SGA president Alexandra Schibanoff ’12 how to smile and perusing fellow roaster and SGA Educational Council Chair Thomas Bruemmer’s ’12 high-quality porn collection.

The Wheaton Wire’s own Monica Vendituoli ’15 took the stage, and spent her time talking about her own forays on the College Hearing Board. As the last roaster of the night, Bruemmer roasted his fellow SGA executive board members, calling Schibanoff a lioness and comparing his position to that of a gazelle. The night was then wrapped up by a few parting words from D’Adamo.

The SGA roast was a pleasant, light-hearted evening where the often overly serious SGA got together in the Loft to enjoy some fried food, have a bit of a rest, and get taken down a few notches by their fellow SGA members and classmates.

The event also served as de-stressor from the dreaded budget hearings that had occurred that very week. Overall, it was a comfort for the student populace that attended to see that the SGA was willing to take a few jokes at their expense, and maybe even have some of their most pressing criticisms jokingly thrown into a public forum.