The Wire is pleased to share that the search for Wheaton’s ninth president has reached a finalized decision! Are you ready for the big reveal?
Category: Student (Misc)
Top Ten Locker Combinations
Warning: This article is written for the LIAR issue, a satirical issue printed annually by the Wire. The best locker combinations ranked! A definitive analysis of what all of the best locker combinations share. Please see the attached video as a primer to the advanced concepts discussed below. William Myung ’21 has an extensive locker […]
Abby Cook’s Dear Wheaton
Abby Cook ’22 is running for Vice President of SGA for the Academic Year 2021-2022
Mikaela Savarese’s Manifesto
Mikaela Savarese ’22 is running for President of SGA for the Academic Year 2021-2022
Payce Shepard’s Manifesto
Payce Shepard ’22 is running for Vice President of SGA for the Academic Year 2021-2022
Was Math Discovered or Invented?
What is math? A natural existing property on Earth that was dying to be discovered, or a human invention? Or does it fall somewhere in-between? To answer this complex philosophical question about mathematics, I turned to members of the Wheaton community. Out of the thirteen (13) respondents, the results were as follows: two (15%) said […]
2. Francisco Lindor finally escaped Cleveland, leaving Jose Ramirez to fend for himself against the cheapest MLB owner. Lindor has long been one of the league’s most electric players and we hope to see that energy amplified when he plays for a team that actually cares for him. 3. Trevor Story is objectively the best […]
So then, with a new administration what can we expect? I’m sorry to disappoint anyone hoping for sweeping reform but that won’t be happening. President Joe Biden is a centrist through and through and there is no getting around that fact.
Crunchy Cheetos vs Cheeto Puffs
The crunchy, cheesy, classic snack food that will leave an orange residue on your fingers after you eat them: Cheetos. What do you picture when you think of a Cheeto? This week, I turned to the members of the Wheaton community with the questions: When you picture a Cheeto, do you imagine crunchy Cheetos or […]
In Response to President Hanno
Recent communications reveal division over the nature of our crisis and the role of leadership. On one side, is the conservative maintenance of the status quo and its beneficiaries, propped up by immovable “longstanding policies” and appeals for civility. On the other side, an aspirational leadership that’s responsive and transformational, finally prioritizing our most vulnerable in the march towards justice.