On Feb. 3, 2022, at 5 p.m., Wheaton held its seventh annual Martin Luther King Celebration event. The event consisted of a showcase of children’s art, the presenting of both the Faculty […]
Wheaton Virtually Hosts Seventh Annual Dr. MLK Jr. Legacy Celebration
The Zodiac Signs as ~Goldfish Flavors~
525If the horoscopes weren’t enough for you, here’s what goldfish type I think each zodiac sign would be and why. I will not hold back. (Written by a Gemini Sun, Capricorn Moon, […]
Ozark’s Mid-Season Finale Doesn’t Disappoint
Spoiler warning: This article contains major spoilers for Season 4 of Ozark. If you aren’t caught up yet on the show, please close your browser or put down your paper right now. […]
Human Trafficking at Wheaton? (Satire)
Lock your windows and doors. Someone is going to come in and snatch you in the middle of the night… or not. Who caused the hysteria that was the 2021 human trafficking […]
Last Night In Soho: Edgar Wright’s “Golden Age Thinking”
Warning: Spoilers of the films Last Night in Soho (2021) and Midnight in Paris (2011) Have you ever felt nostalgia for a time you never lived through? In the 2011 Woody Allen […]
American Brand Loneliness: The Namesake
Author’s Note: This article contains spoilers! You probably don’t remember how many people were present at your birth. Your parents likely consider such a detail trivial since they were there and, after […]
Athlete Feature: Isabella Barrett
Being the only diver on the Wheaton Dive team last year, Isabella “Bella” Barrett ‘24 worked tirelessly to perfect her craft in a season that only allowed her one meet. As the […]
Are the Wheaton Students Potty Trained?
Many children are ready to be potty trained as early as 18 to 22 months. For some students of Wheaton, that statistic is 18 to 22 years. What is it about the […]
Defense Wins Trophies
Over a quarter of the Premier League season in England has passed, and while there are a few surprises, like Brentford and Brighton, some things never change. Chelsea Football Club is in […]
Athlete Feature: Emma Lapreziosa
As the goalkeeper for the Wheaton field hockey team, Emma Lapreziosa ‘24, is the last line of defense for the Lyons. This may seem daunting to some, but she makes it look […]