I promise these will be nicer than last week’s.
Aries • March 21 to April 19
Let out your frustration. But please, keep it about 50 decibels below the sound of a standard vacuum cleaner.
Taurus • April 20 to May 20
Never underestimate the power of simply walking away. Gather your belongings, put in your AirPods, and hightail it out of there.
Gemini • May 21 to June 20
The transition from your weekend self to your week-day self is giving everyone whiplash.
Cancer • June 21 to July 22
It’s that time in the semester when you need to just let loose—walk aimlessly around campus, talk to strangers, experiment with napping.
Leo • July 23 to Aug. 22
This week may feel like you’re being violently thrown off a mechanical bull. But saddle up, it’s only four more weeks until finals.
Virgo • Aug. 23 to Sept. 22
The stars think it’s time to stop skirting around the issue. Tell the person who keeps sitting in your unofficial assigned seat how you really feel.
Libra • Sept. 23 to Oct. 22
If you need to be humbled, remember you’re an inside joke among some friend groups.
Scorpio • Oct. 23 to Nov. 21
Approach this week with the confidence of a campus safety officer shutting down a small outdoor gathering.
Sagittarius • Nov. 22 to Dec. 21
Sun’s out, guns out! No, but actually, how are you so ripped?
Capricorn • Dec. 22 to Jan. 19
Stop pretending you actually do work outside. Your laptop is basically a paperweight at this point.
Aquarius • Jan. 20 to Feb. 18
Sometimes you don’t know what you’ve got till it’s gone. For example, thinking a 7-page paper is long.
Pisces • Feb. 19 to March 20
Cry in public. It’s new and exciting.