Halloweekend made a mess of all of us and so is your horoscope.
Libra | Sept. 23 to Oct. 22
Congrats! You made it another week, but don’t get too excited there’s another one coming.
Scorpio | Oct. 23 to Nov. 21
I don’t know what you’re doing but keep it up, it’s working. I think.
Sagittarius | Nov. 22 to Dec. 21
Is it the wind or is it a ghost? Who can tell.
Capricorn | Dec. 22 to Jan. 19
…what. I’m always so confused…
Aquarius | Jan 20 to Feb. 18
How spherical can a frog get? Asking for a friend.
Pisces | Feb. 19 to March 20
Translating Anglo Saxon takes longer than you would think. Yes. Longer than that.
Aries | March 21 to April 19
Magic exists in many forms including in the form of sleep. You should try it.
Taurus | April 20 to May 20
Are you serious? Go change.
Lucky numbers: 13, 49, 82
Gemini | May 21 to June 20
Cancer | June 21 to July 22
Wear the flannel…or that other flannel…or maybe that flannel.
Leo | July 23 to Aug. 22
Breathe. It’s needed.
Virgo | Aug. 23 to Sept. 22
Don’t eat the clam chowder on Friday, trust me.