Halloweekend made a mess of all of us and so is your horoscope.

Libra | Sept. 23 to Oct. 22

Congrats! You made it another week, but don’t get too excited there’s another one coming.

Scorpio | Oct. 23 to Nov. 21

I don’t know what you’re doing but keep it up, it’s working. I think.

Sagittarius | Nov. 22 to Dec. 21

Is it the wind or is it a ghost? Who can tell.

Capricorn | Dec. 22 to Jan. 19

…what. I’m always so confused…

Aquarius | Jan 20 to Feb. 18

How spherical can a frog get? Asking for a friend.

Pisces | Feb. 19 to March 20 

Translating Anglo Saxon takes longer than you would think. Yes. Longer than that.

Aries | March 21 to April 19 

Magic exists in many forms including in the form of sleep. You should try it.

Taurus | April 20 to May 20

 Are you serious? Go change.

Lucky numbers: 13, 49, 82

Gemini | May 21 to June 20

Wise up.

Cancer | June 21 to July 22

Wear the flannel…or that other flannel…or maybe that flannel.

Leo | July 23 to Aug. 22

Breathe. It’s needed.

Virgo | Aug. 23 to Sept. 22

Don’t eat the clam chowder on Friday, trust me.