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Astrology

Star Stuff (Issue 5)

By Magdalene McCaffrey on October 23, 2019

As it grows closer to Halloween and to the end of the semester, it can be daunting. So is your horoscope.

Libra | Sept. 23 to Oct. 22

Oh damn…you went and did that. Nice.

Scorpio | Oct. 23 to Nov. 21

Hold me back bro. Hold me back!

Sagittarius | Nov. 22 to Dec. 21

The typography of rivers…enough said.

Capricorn | Dec. 22 to Jan. 19

There is a new jacket in your future…let’s aim for jean – not straight jacket vibes. 

Aquarius | Jan 20 to Feb. 18

Stop torturing yourself. It’s done. Move forward and never look back.

Pisces | Feb. 19 to March 20 

Bees…you really need to watch out for bees. 

Aries | March 21 to April 19 

Putting too much pressure on anything can be risky. Like that bagel, seriously you need to be lighter with the knife.

Taurus | April 20 to May 20

 Closer…closer….TOO CLOSE BACK UP.

Gemini | May 21 to June 20

Choose your battles wisely…and by that I mean you won’t win against that squirrel.  Let it go.

Cancer | June 21 to July 22

Your brain is so wrinkly…and so fascinating.

Leo | July 23 to Aug. 22

You know, you’re right, but like not in a good way.

Lucky numbers: None. Math is not your strong suit.

Virgo | Aug. 23 to Sept. 22

Stop it. That is so distracting! Why don’t you understand that?

Categories: Astrology

Tagged as: fake astrology

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