It’s midterm season and everything is falling apart but hey, so is your horoscope.
Libra | Sept. 23 to Oct. 22
Good for you.
Scorpio | Oct. 23 to Nov. 21
Put the cash away. Give your bank account a nap.
Sagittarius | Nov. 22 to Dec. 21
Capricorn | Dec. 22 to Jan. 19
Try calling. We don’t have time for being left on “read.”
Aquarius | Jan 20 to Feb. 18
Sometimes it’s better to be alone. But are we ever really alone.
Pisces | Feb. 19 to March 20
Something wicked this way comes…
Unlucky numbers: 5, 2, 143
Aries | March 21 to April 19
Join the party, it is time to dance!
Taurus | April 20 to May 20
You’ve been having so much fun recently…almost too much fun.
Gemini | May 21 to June 20
Okay, smartypants, give someone else a chance at answering a question.
Cancer | June 21 to July 22
Not everyone agrees with you. It’s okay, we know they’re fools.
Leo | July 23 to Aug. 22
The stars are God’s daisy chain. You figure it out.
Virgo | Aug. 23 to Sept. 22 You need to chill. Finish this project before you start the next one.