Q: “Dear Audrey,
How do you recommend dealing with the Norton flush? Thanks, Anonymous”
A: Dear Anonymous,
The hydrant flush is a drag, but that doesn’t mean you have to let it stain your attitude! Make it into a series of fun games. My favorites include the traditional Race to Walgreens for Clean Bottled Water, or if you’re feeling crafty, you can make rust-colored tie-dye clothing to wear around the campus as a (potentially unintentional) fashion statement. For readers willing to take a gamble, I recommend a round of “Tap Water or Diluted Ox Blood?”, which keeps people guessing right to the very end! As we say here in Norton: May your white laundry never turn sepia, and may your showers never taste like a coin collection.